One Little Detail
by zvforever
Summary: Nearly one year into their relationship, Beca decides to give Jesse a little glimpse into her past. [Twoshot]
1. Part I

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'll start off by saying that I haven't written a fanfic in ages – it's been a couple years, which is terrible, but I'm glad I'm getting back into it. That said, if this isn't so great, I apologize, but please let me know what I can do to better it!**

**This started out as a oneshot to help me cope with some of my own drama, but it escalated into a twoshot when I wrote the majority of this part. I just couldn't resist writing the Beca/Jesse that came to mind here. This part is solely fictional, though, it'll be the next part that is loosely based on my own drama. **

**I'll stop with the rambling now, so enjoy this part and please let me know what you think at the end!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect.**

Beca lay still next to Jesse, his arm wrapped around her waist while her head was resting on his chest, her arm around his own waist. They had just finished celebrating the Trebles semi-finals win. The Bellas had come in second, guaranteeing a spot for both teams at the ICCAs, so Beca wasn't complaining. She hardly ever complained about anything that led to intimacy with Jesse, with the exception of movications of course. That didn't stop the two from teasing each other, an aspect of their relationship that often made Beca smirk, then break out in laughter.

Beca's eyes were currently focused on Jesse's abs, her fingers tracing useless patterns. Though Jesse's eyes were closed, she knew he wasn't asleep yet. That could, however, change in a matter of minutes as the hotel's queen sized bed they were currently occupying was about one hundred times more comfortable than their dorm single sized beds, and they had just exerted a good deal of energy. While Jesse was peacefully resting, occasionally stroking her side, Beca's mind wouldn't stop moving a million miles per minute.

She thought about the amazing ten months she and Jesse had spent together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Beca didn't know what she had done to deserve a guy like Jesse – someone who was there for her unconditionally, who didn't judge her for her quirks, and who challenged and pushed her to be better. One particular memory flooded her mind as she thought back to the start of their relationship.

"_Becs, you can't avoid this conversation forever," he said softly as he kept lightly tapping on her dorm room door, forehead already pressed against it._

"_I can and I will, Jesse Swanson," she countered back as she moved to grab her headphones._

"_Fine, then I'll just sit out here and knock on your door until you let me in and we talk about this," he said, gently but sternly, a combination it seemed like only Jesse could pull off._

_It was mid-May, exams had just ended, and everyone was celebrating the start of summer. After the events at the ICCAs the previous month, Beca agreed to go on a date with Jesse. One date led to another, and before they knew it they were practically in a relationship. Though that wasn't a label Beca was willing to admit to; she wasn't girlfriend material, and she didn't want that to change her dynamic with Jesse. This was the cause of their current predicament._

_Two days prior, the two were sitting in their spot on the quad, under their tree – Jesse sitting against it and Beca lying down with her head on his thigh, studying for their respective finals when Jesse, seemingly out of nowhere, asked how Beca would define their relationship. She was completely blindsided by the question. She had liked how things were going and didn't want them to change. But Jesse being Jesse slowly but surely pushed her to consider his words. He talked about the last month and a half they spent together and how happy it made him, and finally asked her if she would be his girlfriend. _

_Though Beca knew this request wasn't by any means out of the blue and actually made sense in the stage they were at, she was at a loss for words. When she looked up into his hopeful eyes, she couldn't form words and did what she does best – run. She stuttered something about being late for a review session for her last final and just ran._

_She didn't speak to him for two days. Jesse tried calling, texting, knocking, he even tried to get the Bellas to just get her out of her room, but Beca wouldn't budge. She knew that it was childish, but she just didn't want to deal with it. Something seemingly so simple and normal, but neither of those words ever seemed to resonate with her._

_Beca may not have wanted to deal with it, but think about it she did. In fact, she couldn't get his words out of her head. "I want us to keep moving forward," "I don't think I've ever been so happy in my entire life like I have been this last month and a half," "I want to be able to tell people that you're all mine," "I want us both to be happy, because we deserve it," the list goes on and on. Beca couldn't just ignore his request. Thoughts of making their relationship official had entered her mind throughout the last month, but she pushed them out rather quickly before they could solidify, and she hadn't let herself think about it for more than a minute._

_She wasn't ready to think about it, and she needed to let Jesse know that. No matter how difficult it was going to be. She couldn't just let him be miserable outside her room forever. She just needed to come up with a viable way to tell him what she was thinking. She just wished she didn't feel like she was about to kick a puppy._

_Ten minutes later, Beca sighed heavily and moved towards the door. "Would you stop that, you're giving me a headache." Her words came out harsher than she intended._

"_It got you to let me in, didn't it?" Jesse smiled cheekily at her. It baffled her how he could be so cheerful, so positive, and so _smiley_ when she had practically rejected his every attempt to talk to her in the last couple days. As if reading her mind, he said, "Small victories, Bec."_

_Beca's eyes immediately softened while looking on at him curiously. She didn't know how he knew her so well already, and she was frankly a little afraid to ask._

_He merely smiled at her softly, then turned around to make himself comfortable on her bed, as he always does, while Beca fiddled with her thumbs, trying to work up the courage to say what she needed to say._

"_Bec, I don't bite, I promise," he said amusedly._

_Beca just looked at him worriedly, which wasn't a look you got from Beca often, especially after Jesse made a stupid quip like that. "Jesse, I -," she tried to begin, but she couldn't seem to find the words. Him just being in the room with her seemed to calm all of the nerves she had bottled up in the last two days. Beca closed her eyes, and took a deep breath in, as she prepared to continue with her explanation. "Jesse, I really like you, and that's something coming from me, because I don't say that often. I have also been really happy this last month and a half, and I want this, whatever it is, to keep going." She saw his face visibly change when she said 'whatever this is,' and she knew that at that moment, he knew what she was going to say. "And it's because of this that I can't be your girlfriend." And that's when she lost him. _

"_Ok, you lost me, Bec. If you like where we are and where we're going, why can't you be my girlfriend?"_

"_Jesse – "_

"_Because that seems like the exact criteria for a relationship."_

"_Jesse, I – "_

"_I like you, you like me, we like this, it's only natural – "_

"_Dammit Jesse, I don't want you to get hurt!" Beca finally yelled over him, frustrated._

_Jesse merely frowned and said, "What?"_

"_I don't want you to get hurt," she repeated, only this time quieter, finally looking away from him because she couldn't look at him when he realized that she would ultimately be the cause of most of his pain._

"_Beca, what are you talking about?" he asked, now completely confused._

_Beca sighed, "I'm broken, Jesse, and I don't know how to do this." She found the will power to turn her head to face him and look him in the eyes once again, "The only semblance of a relationship that I had as an example throughout my life ended when I was fourteen. I haven't been able to sustain a relationship ever since. I drive people away, and I don't let anyone in. I'm closed off and snippy. I'm not a girl who loves rom coms and who likes talking about her feelings. In fact, here's exhibit A, I couldn't even talk to you when you asked me to be your girlfriend; instead, I shut you out for two days. That's not normal girlfriend material, Jesse. I can't be what you need, and I probably never will be, and I really, really don't want to hurt you, not again. So why don't we just save you the heartache and not get deeper into this than we already are. Please."_

_By the end of her explanation, Beca had tears in her eyes that she fought incredibly hard to keep down. She hated crying in front of other people. She really hated crying in general. She didn't want this to end, that wasn't her initial intention when she began, but she knew that that was what had to happen. Though she couldn't help but wonder if she _could_ be girlfriend material, but that wasn't a thought she let be pondered for more than two seconds._

_Jesse just looked at her with his caring brown eyes, but then slowly reached out his hand to take hers and pulled her to him, settling her on his lap as he wrapped his arms around her waist while she refused to look at him any longer, she merely nervously played with her fingers while he began talking._

"_First of all Bec, why don't you let me be the judge of what I need. I've never been someone who doesn't go after what he wants, and when we started this year, I knew that I wanted to be friends with you, at the very least. Contrary to popular belief, I don't sing to many girls on the first day of school." When this didn't get at least a look out of her, he continued. "No matter how much you don't want to admit it, I think that's exactly what we became, Bec. And spring break must have been one of the most miserable times of my life. It wasn't because we were fighting; it was because it was the first time I didn't know whether you'd actually come back or not, and that really scared me, Bec. That was when I realized that I not only wanted you in my life, but I also needed you in my life. _

_I have feelings for you, Beca, feelings that I've never had for anybody else, and I don't care if you're not your own definition of a normal, perfect girlfriend, cause you are the girlfriend I want. You with your snippy come backs, your amazingly scary ear spike, and even your hate for movies, which I think I'm making progress in, by the way," he states, which makes her lightly chuckle. "Bec, I wouldn't be asking you to be my girlfriend if I wasn't sure that this is what I want. _

"_And you're not broken, you're one of the strongest people I know. The things you went through didn't break you, they built you, and that's what I love about you. The hard times may have torn you down then, but you made sure to put the pieces back together and overcome it all. You sought solace in music, which is a huge part of you, that I absolutely adore, by the way, and it's all part of who you are. And you may not think that you're good for me, but I know that you are because you make me better too. You make me want to try harder, Bec. You make me want to make you proud of me. You make me want to put that smile that I love on your face every day; granted that doesn't always happen, but I'll work on it." Upon his next words, he reaches up to her chin, and turns her face towards his to look her in the eyes, "You make me want and need to take care of you and be there for you when you need it. You make me want and need to be with you." _

_Beca's face is covered in silent tears, and she can't bring herself to care. Nobody has ever said anything even remotely moving to her before, and she wasn't sure whether to hold on for dear life or run in the opposite direction. "I still shut people out. You said so yourself, I push away anyone who could possibly care about me." She doesn't know why that is the response she chooses, but she thinks she may need to know that he's willing to deal with that because she knows she's not perfect, and she knows she may run sometimes, but that's a part of who she is. She knows that not many people understand that, but if there's one person in the world who gets that and is willing to deal with that, she wants, more than anything, for that person to be Jesse. _

"_Beca, you shared secrets with the Bellas. You basically serenaded me in front of thousands of people. You started laughing at my lame jokes before we were even a quarter through the school year. You've shared details about your past with me. You may still close off certain parts of yourself, but you're slowly letting your walls down around the people who matter, and I know how much that means for you considering how much your parents hurt you. And sure, you may shut me out sometimes and run in the other direction, but all I know is that when that happens, I won't stop trying to find you and talk to you and try to make things right. As long as you know you can run back to me, then that's all I need."_

_Beca was looking at him like he was both the most amazing person in the world and the craziest. But only one sentence came out of her mouth, "Ask me again." She said it just above a whisper as Jesse broke out into a huge smile._

"_Beca Mitchell, will you be my girlfriend?"_

_Beca knew she couldn't resist that goofy smile any longer. She leaned her forehead towards his and whispered a soft, "Yes, you nerd." And just like that, Beca was back._

The memory still makes her smile and tear slightly. Jesse was like her blessing in disguise. He accepted her flaws, but helped her overcome her fears. He did, slowly but surely, help her open up to the people around her, which she knows everyone greatly appreciates. She had even become closer to her dad in the last year. They shared biweekly dinners, to which Jesse often accompanied her, but she can tell her dad is happy that his daughter is slowly letting him be a part of her life again. She would only be lying if she said she hadn't missed him since her parents divorced. She's grateful that they can make things right. She also knows that if Jesse hadn't pushed her that extra mile, she may have never repaired her relationship with her father. Though her boyfriend refuses to accept any credit for the reconciliation, he's happy that Beca has that chance. Between Jesse being her rock and the Bellas providing enough backbone, she's pretty sure she's set.

The Bellas were really something else. She doesn't know how those girls made their way into her heart, but they did. She never thought she'd be close to a group of people ever again, but the Bellas had proved her wrong. She would never be able to thank Chloe enough for invading her very personal space and making her audition for the awesome nerds.

Beca thought back on the last year and a half and wondered how those girls even put up with her half the time. No matter, she thanks her lucky stars that they're open to having a scary ear spike girl be the leader of the coveted a cappella group. She doesn't think that the fun she has with them will ever compare to that of any other group. The girls actually got her to enjoy girly sleepovers and take trips shopping – granted those only happened a few times a year, but it was still a step up for her. They would have girly nights out, actually talk about their lives, and share their feelings. She hadn't experienced that in years, and she had forgotten how much she missed it until now. The girls provided her safe place when Jesse couldn't and that meant everything to her.

Beca inwardly groaned when she realized how sappy her thoughts had become and made a mental note to have an intense music mixing session when they got back to Barden the next day. Granted, she didn't often talk about her feelings or dwell on the past. The only times she let herself go was the occasional night with Jesse.

She doesn't know how Jesse had the uncanny ability to calm her, comfort her, anger her, frustrate her, make her laugh, and most of all, make her feel wanted and loved. She had never had that before in her life. Actually, that was a lie. Before Beca could stop her thoughts from going there, her mind flooded with memories from high school, her group of friends, and a guy who managed to both make her and break her.

She had never shared the story with anyone, mainly because she tried to never think about it. But deep down, she knew that if she never shared it, a part of her would always be closed off and afraid. She didn't know what to do with the realization.

"Becs, what's wrong?" Jesse asked softly as he continued to stroke down her side.

Beca was quickly broken out of her thoughts and looked up at Jesse, confused, "What?"

"What's wrong?" he merely repeated, just as softly.

"How do you know anything's wrong, your eyes aren't even open," she challenged.

"You think I need to see you with my eyes to know what's going on with you?" he replied back. She was, quite frankly, a bit taken aback. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Beca stopped tracing patterns on Jesse's stomach as she moved her hand to support her chin on his chest. That way, she was now half on her side, half on her stomach, her body pressed against his, her chin on her hand, and she was looking down and biting her lip. Jesse's fingers moved up to caress her side near her ribs, the one area he knew would calm her for reasons he could never pinpoint.

When she didn't answer, Jesse opened his eyes and looked at her. Though she was looking to the side, he saw indecisiveness in her eyes and could tell that she was having an inner debate. This drew out his curiosity, but it also made him slightly worried. Even though the two had been dating for nearly a year, Jesse didn't always know what to expect when serious thoughts plagued her mind. He did know, however, to let her talk in her own time – things just always seemed to go better that way.

"Beca, what's wrong?" he asked again. Beca's eyes reached his and she could tell that Jesse was worried. He didn't want her to reveal something or start a discussion that would then make her seek an escape. She thinks he doesn't realize that she hasn't run from him in months, and they've had some pretty serious conversations in that time.

Beca throws Jesse a soft smile and moves up to kiss him softly. After a few seconds, she moves away, eyes still closed, she says, "I need to tell you something."

Opening her eyes, she sees he has concern written all over his face and uneasily responds, "Okay."

Before she begins, she reassures him and says, "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. It's just something that I haven't told you yet. Something that I actually haven't told anybody, but it's something I think you should know."

She sees his features relax a bit, though he still keeps a hold on her waist as she moves to sit cross-legged next to him. Jesse maneuvers himself to sit up against the headboard, but keeps his hand on her thigh. She's glad they were clothed, if you can call a tank top with boy shorts and boxers clothed, because she doesn't think she can be naked in front of him in more ways than one right now.

When she looked up at him, she saw that he was looking at her expectantly, yet his expression wasn't pushy. It reminded her that she wasn't pressured, which somehow eased her thoughts. "Do you remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend?"

"How could I forget such an achievement?" he smiled cheekily at her as she swatted his chest with a smile on her face.

"Well do you remember how then as well as a few other times I told you that my parents relationship was pretty much the reason I was so closed off?"

"Yeah," he confirmed, not entirely sure where this was going.

"Well that's not entirely true," she paused, "there was another reason I built so many walls around myself, and his name was Jeremy."

**A/N: So what do you all think of this? Can't take credit for one of the lines in here, it's a line from one of my favorite tv shows. Ten points if you can pinpoint it!**

**I don't know if I got their voices right. I feel like Beca seems a bit OOC, and it was a bit difficult to combine her personality with her also being more open and vulnerable with Jesse. So I'm not entirely sure if I like how that turned out. But anywho, there's one more part to this story, and I will update with it later in the week, probably after Wednesday. But in the meantime, reviews are love! Reviews really encourage me and help me build on my writing, so please drop me one! Have a great week everyone! **


	2. Part II

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! I love getting feedback, so thank you so much! Also, thank you for all the favorites and alerts – I've had more alerts than I've had for any of my other stories! Lastly, brownie points to **chuckfanatic01 **for knowing where one of the quotes from the last part was from. Jesse's statement: "You think I need to see you with my eyes to know what's going on with you" is taken from One Tree Hill (obviously do not own it). **

**I am a little nervous about this part now, though, cause everyone seemed to enjoy the first part, and I really hope you guys enjoy this part as well! I did start writing this to cope with my own stupid drama, so I kind of kept to the basics of what happened and also tried to dramatize it a bit for the purposes of the story to relate back to Beca. I had a bit of trouble writing this because I wasn't sure how it would all come off, and I had to do a lot of altering of timelines. But anyway, hopefully it works.**

**Enjoy and please review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect.**

"_Well do you remember how then as well as a few other times I told you that my parents' relationship was pretty much the reason I was so closed off?"_

"_Yeah," he confirmed, not entirely sure where this was going._

"_Well that's not entirely true," she paused, "there was another reason I built so many walls around myself, and his name was Jeremy."_

Beca could practically see the wheels turning in Jesse's head. She had to give him credit; he remained perfectly calm, trying not to give away how he truly felt about that statement. He managed to constantly forget, however, that Beca learned to read his eyes early on in their friendship. His eyes currently portrayed his slight confusion, slight curiosity, and a good amount of anger as he looked straight ahead.

After several seconds, he turned his head back towards his girlfriend, and Beca was thankful to realize that the anger wasn't directed towards her. Instead, his eyes softened as soon as they met hers. When Beca realized that his anger was directed towards the boy who had evidently broken her, she could feel the tears rush to her eyes, but she would not let them fall. If she did, then she would never able to get through the entire story; and Jesse deserved to hear it.

Beca attempted to throw him a playful smile, "Don't worry, dork, he's not an ex-boyfriend." He returned with a small tug of his lips, his attention solely focused on Beca's face. Jesse knew how hard it was for her to open up most times, so he didn't want to miss anything. His girlfriend had lowered her head, however, resorting to playing with her fingers nervously.

Jesse squeezed her waist for reassurance as he waited for her to begin the story. Several seconds later, Beca found her voice, "My junior year of high school, I made a new group of friends."

That wasn't how Jesse thought the story would start but he continued to listen as Beca lifted her head to look him in the eyes. "There was a senior prom coming up, and it was a really big deal. We didn't have any other dances throughout my school career, so everyone looked forward to senior prom. The guys would ask the girls in really cute extravagant ways, the girls would find the perfect dresses, the guys would need to get matching tuxes, the corsages had to be ordered, and the after prom weekend had to be planned. It was the biggest event before graduation, and something we had all looked forward to since starting high school."

By this point, Jesse could see that Beca had adopted a far off look on her face. She was clearly remembering all of the events of that year, most of which seemed like they should have been happy memories.

"I know the junior going to a senior prom thing doesn't make sense, so just bear with me." When Jesse gave a slight nod, she continued, "I was actually always a good student in school. I was in a couple AP classes, several honors classes, I had a pretty large number of friends – though I guess when I think about it, they'd be counted more as acquaintances. They were mostly just people in my classes whom I knew. I never had that one group of friends that I did everything with or which I'd see on a daily basis. All my close friends were scattered amongst different groups, but I honestly never saw that as a problem."

Jesse quickly recalled Beca telling him the previous year that she only kept in touch with one person from high school; her best friend whom she'd known since the sixth grade, who had apparently been there for her through pretty much anything and everything. Jesse had met the girl, whose name was Anna, the previous summer when he visited Beca in the suburbs of New York.

"Anyway, I had a fairly good friend named Christina, whom I'd known for about four years at that point, and she got asked to prom by Jeremy, who was a senior. She wasn't all too excited about it. She even texted me when he asked her and she wanted to know what I thought, whether she should go or not. I knew of the guy, but she was the one who had been friends with him, so I merely told her to do what she wanted to do. She ended up agreeing.

"Christina and I had a mutual friend who was coincidentally also named Christina, but I'll call her Tina, who was in the friend group Jeremy was in. Tina was a junior, but her boyfriend was a senior and Jeremy's best friend. She invited us to hang out with the group they had established. I heartily agreed since Christina wanted a friendly face to rely on. I didn't do much in my junior year in regards to going out, so I didn't mind. Christina later backed out on the day we were all supposed to meet.

"I went along anyway, and actually ended up having a great time. It seemed like everyone liked me too, so I started hanging out with the group more often. I could also tell that Jeremy was trying to become better friends with me, though I sort of ignored his attempts. I may have been a semi-outgoing person, but I never let my emotions show through. I hadn't fully recovered from my parents' divorce and I didn't let anyone, except for Anna, close enough to hurt me." By this point, Beca was completely immersed in the story.

"Anyway, Christina and Jeremy weren't getting along, and they were really not enthusiastic about going to prom together. So when they broke that off, Christina told Jeremy to ask me since I was now close with the group. Tina made sure with me first, and before I answered, I consulted Christina. If she was genuinely upset about not going with him anymore, then I would obviously say no, but she only encouraged me to go. So one fine day, Jeremy asked me to prom, and I agreed." Jesse hadn't seen a smile like that on Beca's face before. It was a smile filled with those happy memories of simpler times, yet filled with the sadness, probably realized what was to come. He could also see the slight twinkle in her eyes as she thought about that prom proposal. Jesse bit his tongue to stop himself from interrupting her and asking how exactly Jeremy had asked her to prom.

"The rest of the few months of junior year went well. The only bad thing was that Christina had stopped talking to me. I didn't know if it was because of the prom situation or what, but she and I didn't speak for the rest of high school, even though I tried multiple times to patch things up or to just get her to tell me what happened. But it was no use, and though I was sad about it, I had gained a group of about ten new friends who were friendly, outgoing, welcoming, and supportive, so I couldn't regret it, and I still don't."

Beca took a slight pause. She almost laughed when she saw Jesse's face. He looked genuinely engrossed in the story, waiting to see where it would go. She figured it was a good thing that he was interested, at least that way she didn't feel like she was boring him with her high school memories.

"Prom came and went, then it was time for graduation, and before we knew it, the summer was almost over. All the guys in our group, all six of them, were headed to college in a couple weeks while the four girls, including myself, had one more year of high school left. About a week before they all left, Jeremy and I found ourselves hanging out one night. I knew that he really liked me, but I never addressed it. He was never persistent and he didn't do anything to really show it. He's not exactly the most outgoing or proactive guy, so that paired with the fact that I didn't feel the same way about him had us dancing circles around each other all summer. But that night, we had our first real talk, ever probably. It was a four hour heart to heart, just talking everything out. We talked about our pasts, what had been going on for the previous few months, and what would happen once he went away to school. He told me how much he liked me and how he really wanted a relationship with me. I was definitely not in the same place, so I told him the truth; or at least part of the truth. I came clean about the fact that I didn't like him in that way, though I was glad that we were becoming better friends. And just to soften the blow, I told him that it wouldn't make sense to start dating since he was moving a few states away for college where he'd no doubt want to see other girls. First year of college plus a long distance relationship just does not mesh well in my mind. I also gave him a lecture on how girls liked persistence," she outwardly laughed at her last statement as she deadpanned on Jesse. He was practically the definition of persistent. Though she'd never admit it, she was happy he pushed so hard last year. Otherwise, she wouldn't be where she is now; _they _wouldn't be where they are now.

Jesse had an amused look in his eyes as he realized Beca was referring to his excessive behavior the previous year. He'd never apologize for it though. It was one of if not the best that's ever happened to him.

Beca was in more of a conversational mode now than she had been at the start of her explanation. Jesse found this to be a good thing. He could see that the tension in her shoulders had eased, and her eyes shined with excitement; he wasn't sure whether this change in demeanor was due to the slight level of comfort discussing this now or to the memories of the boy with whom she seemed to be once quite close. Despite the fact that he wanted it to be the former, Jesse decided that it was most likely due to the latter.

"It was the perfect ending to that summer if I'm being truly honest, because that was the night when I felt like Jeremy and I actually became friends. In a way, it felt like that was the start of our relationship, even though we had known each other for months. It really showed throughout that school year, too. We would text almost every day, and we skyped at least once every two weeks. Those skype sessions would last hours, it was like we were making up for lost time, having heart to hearts and catching up on our daily lives while we were far apart. We even used nicknames for each other that no one else in the group used. I always called him 'Jer' – though that seems pretty common, he only let his sister call him that – and he always called me 'Becky.' On several occasions, he made it clear that he still had feelings for me, but I made it clear that I still didn't feel differently about him, not realizing that I was just suppressing feelings because I didn't _want_ to like him.

"In the meantime, he met a girl in school named Krista. They were just friends with benefits, so none of our friends thought anything of it. If anything, everyone just thought she was a rebound since everyone was convinced that Jer was in love with me. Before any of us really talked to him about it, though, he found out Krista was in love with someone else, so he broke it off before he came home for winter break, which she managed to ruin for him by faking a pregnancy."

At Beca's last statement, Jesse's jaw dropped. "Wait, she what?" Maybe he just hadn't heard her correctly.

"Oh you heard me right, babe, she faked a pregnancy," Beca reiterated. Jesse couldn't get his eyes to revert back to their normal size. If there was one thing guys felt strongly about, it was fake pregnancy scares. That is just not an okay thing to do on any level.

"How could someone do that?!" Jesse almost yelled, clearly unnerved by the situation despite it happening to nobody he knew.

"I have no idea. The bitch had the nerve to accuse Jeremy of not caring either. Lashing out at him, saying he had nothing to do with it, that it shouldn't concern him, and on top of that refusing to take a pregnancy test," Beca continued. She clearly still had some strong feelings about a situation that happened over two years prior. Though this didn't unnerve Jesse since he would probably feel the same if his friend had gone through something like that.

"So she tells him she thinks she's pregnant, then flips out on him, and on top of that refuses to do anything about it?" Jesse asked, incredulous by this point.

"Yep. Jeremy had a really tough time for about half of break. He didn't know what was happening because he couldn't reach her. She lives in California, so there wasn't much he could do from the other side of the country." Jesse just nodded along in understanding. Though this seemed to be a significant event in Jeremy's college career, Jesse was wondering how this tied back to Beca. Clearly, this girl would have been gone by now, no guy in his right mind would take a girl back after she faked a pregnancy. He couldn't piece together how all of this was related.

"By the end of break, everything was back to normal; Jeremy hadn't heard from Krista, so he just tried to forget about the whole thing, and the rest of us figured that was the last we heard of her. We were severely mistaken though."

At Beca's last statement, Jesse just looked at her. He could see her eyes darkening just slightly, something anyone else probably would have missed. He had a feeling that the rest of the story wasn't going to be so happy.

"About a month into his spring semester, they started hooking up again, something the entire group was baffled by. A couple months later, he was contemplating asking her to be his girlfriend. It was nearly the end of the semester, and we all discouraged him from it. None of us trusted her after the fake pregnancy fiasco and stringing him along earlier. With summer coming up, we thought he should have the three and a half months to think about it, especially since they didn't live close, and then revisit the idea in September. He didn't listen to us, though. They became official two years ago, today."

That statement was all it took for Jesse to understand why she suddenly told him all of this. The day hit a nerve for her. He noticed her mind straying from the Bellas earlier, before the semi-finals had actually begun, but Jesse just attributed it to her running through the segments in her head as she often did before competitions. He should have known that something else was bothering her. "Bec," he started, but she just shook her head at him, looking at him with sad eyes.

"I need to finish this, Jesse. No one knows about it besides that group and Anna. I haven't talked about it since it all happened; hell, I rarely think about it. It's about time I let it all go because I don't want to carry this around with me anymore. Even if I rarely think about it, I know that it somehow manages to make its way through my mind, clouding my thoughts, making me doubt myself sometimes, making me doubt you and our friends. I never wanted to admit it until now. So, please, just let me finish this, and then I promise I'll answer anything you want."

Beca had fierceness in her eyes that he only ever saw in two situations. The first was whenever she was certain of something and wanted to prove a point; this was normally directed towards Jesse. The second was when she was performing; it was like she knew she would kick ass whether they would win or lose. He couldn't even begin to describe how sexy that quality was, but he didn't let himself dwell on that for more than a few seconds. Jesse didn't want his thoughts to lead to actions, which would then prevent Beca from releasing her ghosts, so he gave his girlfriend a slight nod and let her continue.

"Right before they became official, they decided to be completely honest with each other, though Jeremy took that a bit too seriously. He told Krista about his feelings for me, which in turn sparked her hate towards me. I was still at a time in my life when I worked hard to get everyone's approval. I think I was still working so hard to get my dad's approval after he left that it transformed into needing approval from everyone around me. Let's just say, the first few times I met her, she wasn't exactly friendly while I tried to really engage in conversation and get to know her."

"I told you, Bec, that ear spike can scare people odd!" he said matter-of-factly, making Beca smile through her stern look.

"Anyway," she said with a bit of annoyance in her voice, "summer came around, I went to my own senior prom, graduated, and spent summer relaxing and gearing up for Barden. Jeremy and I remained close throughout the summer. I made sure to create some boundaries since I knew Krista really disliked me. I didn't want to give her more reasons to hate me than she already had. She came back a month early to spend time with Jeremy, which turned out to be the month from hell. As Krista got a tighter hold on Jeremy, I was being left farther and farther behind. Krista made sure to make an effort with the other girls in the group, so as to call me out on being the irrational one. I saw right through her though. She didn't like the girls any more than she liked me." Beca paused to think for a second, "Alright, that's a lie, she definitely disliked me more than she did them, but that didn't matter because by the time all the real trouble started she had already gotten them all on her side, both the girls and the boys."

Beca quickly looked towards Jesse. She had kept her eyes looking anywhere but at his face while telling the story, somehow that made it easier. She saw that he had genuine reassurance in his eyes as well as a hint of curiosity, though she was fairly certain that he could see where this was going.

"I would see them all at parties and get togethers every week, and all I would get is a hug with a greeting that made it sound like she was doing me a favor. There were also usually dirty looks, horrendous name-calling, and the occasional facebook status that depicted how much she wanted me out of Jeremy's life. She hated that we were so close, and she wanted me gone," Beca recalled with a crease in her brow. That was really not a fun part of summer. "At the end of the summer, I had a big party at my house two weeks before everyone left for college, and against my better judgment, I let Jeremy bring Krista. Somehow, everything was ruined; I honestly don't even know how it happened. Then yet, I don't remember the majority of the night; I got so frustrated, I made sure I got drunk enough to not remember anything the next day. The only part I remember is Krista running out of my house crying after a fight with Jeremy, and me running after her, trying to calm her down and reassure her. Other than that, I remember nothing, but my friends managed to tell me that I cried – _a lot_," she emphasized. She knew Jesse hated it when she cried, so she made sure to keep her eyes trained on his face.

Jesse, in turn, saw a hint of nostalgia in her eyes, but no sorrow. The reassurance was enough to make him keep quiet and let her finish the story.

"After that, I saw Jeremy and everyone else once. A few days after the party, the group got together for our last beach day of the summer, but Jeremy was missing. I didn't think much of it. I merely thought he had plans with Krista already. Everyone avoided the topic throughout the day, especially if I asked if they knew anything about it. I noticed that something was off with everyone, but I didn't take it to heart. We would all be separated soon, and I figured that was taking a toll on everyone. I definitely wasn't prepared for what would actually come of the situation," Beca's voice tapered off at the end.

Jesse watched her closely and ran his hand up and down her arm, something he knew would calm her, even if only slightly. Beca sent him an appreciative yet sad smile and continued on to the final stretch.

"Jeremy spoke to me for several days, trying to figure out how to fix everything, how to make both his girlfriend and best friend happy. The problem was that he was in denial that we hated each other. At least, he was in denial whenever he spoke to me, though he had no problem voicing the fact that his girlfriend hated me to the rest of our friends. I tried to distance myself and told him I would do to avoid the drama, but he probably didn't believe me since he constantly kept texting me as if nothing was wrong. Eventually, since he was spending more and more time with Krista and no time with me, his attempts to understand what actually happened between us turned into blames. Instead of placing blame where it was due, Jeremy placed all the blame of the disagreements, the party, the hate, and pretty much anything else on me, excusing his girlfriend from all of it. He even went so far as to tell me to get over my pride. That's when I knew that I was severely wrong about him. He clearly didn't know anything about me."

Beca could feel Jesse's grip on her waist tighten when she spoke the last few sentences. He was angry, very angry. Jesse, more than anyone probably, knew that when Beca really and truly cared about someone, she was incredibly loyal and supportive. She often put others' needs above her own, even if she did it in her snarky attitude. There was no way she would let pride get in the way of establishing a civil relationship with a friend's significant other.

Beca gave Jesse a weak smile and quietly said, "I used to think of Jeremy as someone who would never, ever hurt me. He was that guy. I had never let anyone that close to me before, and he made his way in, even though it wasn't initially what I wanted. I was close to a couple of the girls, but somehow Jer and I were different. It was like we always walked the fine line between a friendship and a relationship. For the longest time, everyone told me that he got the emotional side of a relationship from me because he wasn't getting it from Krista. Though I always said that was ridiculous and that it was bad for both of us, I think we both secretly liked it. We developed a serious emotional attachment to each other, which was breaking both of us down in different respects. He was having issues in his relationship, and I just wasn't the same. He was basically in love with me, whereas I didn't realize I felt anything until I was basically fighting a losing battle."

Beca sighed, "Two days before I left, I heard that the entire group, including Krista, got together one final time before everyone started heading off for their respective schools. I was heartbroken. Not only had I lost one of my closest friends, but I also lost the only group of people I ever really fit in with. Sure, I wasn't as open with them as I am with you and the Bellas, but I still felt like I fit. But, Krista wanted me gone, and she got it. The only person who was there for me was Anna. She was the only one who proved time and time again that she was there for me unconditionally.

"After that, I swore I would never again let anyone that close to me; I knew that if I did, then it would only lead to more heartbreak. This promise came just in time for my first day at Barden, and so began the events of our freshman year. That's part of the reason I kept you and the Bellas at an arms' length for so long. I couldn't handle the thought of someone else just leaving me, especially not anyone I cared so much about. Yet somehow, all you nerds managed to get through my walls anyway," Beca laughed then added, "Let's just say you can now see why I'm not crazy about the name 'Becky.'"

Jesse knew that that was the end of the story. Beca always seemed to finish a personal story with her eyes cast down and a soft voice to go along. To an outsider, it may seem like she was completely defeated by it, though Jesse knew that wasn't the case at all. She was afraid that any personal story would changed people's opinions of her, namely the people who are important to her. He realized that one of the reasons it took her so long to open up to him was that she feared him walking away just like her dad did all those years ago, and just like Jeremy and her friends had less than two years ago.

Jesse moved himself off the headboard, towards his girlfriend. He didn't know how someone so special could be hurt so many times, but he wanted to kill anyone who even tried to inflict the same pain on her.

Before Jesse said anything, he positioned himself in front of her, crossing his legs, just like hers. He gently reached over to lift her chin with his fingers. When her eyes met his, all he could see was fear and nerves. He gently but firmly placed his hands on either side of her head as he spoke in the most sincere voice he could muster in the moment, "Thank you for telling me all that, Becs." She merely smiled somewhat sadly at him.

"I wanted to tell you that because I wanted you to fully understand why I was so difficult to crack last year. I just couldn't handle two important people in my life leaving me, basically out of nowhere. I thought it would be easier to keep my walls up and keep everyone at arms' length, but all it did was hurt everyone, including myself. Thinking about everything today actually made me realize exactly how I feel about it all, you know." Jesse looked on, patiently waiting for her to continue, "I may never get over the fact that my closest friends abandoned me when I needed them most. I may never get over the fact that the one person who I thought would never hurt me, did just that, in a way I didn't even think possible. And even though I'm working on things with my dad, I don't know if I'll ever fully be over the fact that he left, even though I know our estrangement is partially my fault for being so closed off afterwards. But I do know one thing." For this, Beca looked straight at Jesse, "I am incredibly thankful that I met you last year. If it weren't for you, I would still feel just as lost and alone as I did when I got here. You broke down my walls, Jesse. Even when I fought you on it, you fought harder. You made sure I knew I was wanted by you, by the Bellas, even by my father. You're the reason I'm whole again, Jesse. You put me back together after Jeremy broke me down to pieces, and I will probably never be able to thank you enough."

He knew that confessions like that were incredibly difficult for Beca to say, and he knew she wouldn't take to dwelling too well. So instead, he went the classic Jesse route.

"Where does this kid go to school? The Trebles have yet to pick a destination for our end of the year trip. I'm sure we can arrange something," he quipped as Beca let out a laugh and swatted at his leg.

"Ah, there's my girl," Jesse smiled. It was ironic how those four words managed to undo Beca while she went through the entire story composed. She wasn't crying, but her face portrayed the hurt from opening up old wounds; though he could also see the slight comfort from his words. "Becs, hey, come here. Hey," he again lifted her head to look at him, "do you remember what I told you after initiation night?"

"Which time?" she asked. Jesse seemed to tell her very profound things during initiation nights.

"This year. Somehow, I don't think I can work our aca-children into this," he said in a clearly amused voice.

Beca nodded a few times. She could never forget this year's initiation night. As leaders of the Bellas and Trebles, respectively, Beca and Jesse were required to attend and administer the actual initiations. Neither minded, however, as the after party always entailed shenanigans of some sort, and always ended with Bellas going home with Trebles. Thank God the Bellas decided to lift the oath this year.

"_Beca! Bec-aw!" he hollered towards her when he saw all the Bellas walk into the stadium where the initiation after party was currently in full swing. _

_Beca merely laughed at him. "Are you seriously drunk already?"_

"_Please, we got here five minutes ago. Even Benji's not that much of a light weight," Beca laughed whole heartedly at this. Jesse's roommate really wasn't great at keeping down his alcohol. "I just figured, it's initiation night, may as well make that our thing."_

"_We should make you calling me over like a bird our thing?" Beca laughed incredulously. "You definitely _are _drunk."_

"_I promise you, I'm not." Jesse had a smile on his face as he brought his girlfriend closer to his body. Placing one hand on her waist and the other cupping her cheek, he leaned down to kiss her. He somehow managed to combine gentle yet powerful into one kiss. A kiss that made Beca weak at the knees as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Beca would never understand how Jesse made her feel the things she felt, but she also didn't exactly want to question the universe._

_The two pulled away, but kept their hands in place, when they heard multiple whistles and cat calls being thrown at them by returning Bellas and Trebles, though they were fairly certain the majority of the comments were coming from Fat Amy, the last of which was "Get a room, you bunnies!"_

_They merely laughed at their friends' antics when they looked over at them. The party was in full swing and everyone looked like they were having the time of the lives. Beca and Jesse, meanwhile, were in their own little world. _

_The two leaned their foreheads against each other's and just closed their eyes for a minute, taking everything in, realizing that the things they so desperately wanted a year ago, but didn't have were now tightly in their grasps. _

_Beca opened her eyes first, looking towards him, making sure not to break contact. "So, we're the kings and queens of campus, huh?"_

_Jesse broke out into a huge smile while his eyes were still closed. "Don't ever doubt it, Bec."_

_They stayed silent for a few more moments until Jesse said, "So you, uh, remember initiation night, huh?" Though Jesse doesn't regret anything he said to her the previous year, he knew that he was more than a little drunk when he did. _

"_How can I not remember you in all your blurry glory?" she teased while she saw Jesse's face gain a little color. "I was afraid you were gonna fall over every time I pushed you away."_

"_But I came right back." The playful tone they were keeping to for the past several minutes was quickly broken as Jesse's eyes met Beca's. All he saw written all over her face was hope. _

"_You did," she confirmed, this time loading her response with all the times beyond initiation night._

"_And I always will, Becs. I can promise you that," he said softly as she looked at him for a moment, then gave a few quick nods. Jesse moved to kiss her forehead as Beca wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him tightly. She knew she wasn't great with words, but Jesse knew just how to interpret her actions. The little things she did often spoke volumes over her unshared words. The tight grip she held around him only confirmed the thanks in her eyes for his promise. That was exactly what she needed to hear. How the kid always knew what she needed, she'll never know._

_After several moments, the two broke apart; though Beca kept her right arm wrapped around Jesse's waist as Jesse place his left arm around her shoulders while Beca reached up to intertwine their fingers. The two headed towards their friends as Fat Amy yelled, "The Mr. and Mrs. of a cappella finally decided to grace us with their presence!" The night was perfect._

"You told me you will always come back," she said just above a whisper so Jesse could hear while he kept a hold on either side of her head.

"Exactly. I promised you that I will always come back, and I'm going to keep to that promise. It doesn't matter if we get into a fight, if we spend summers apart, if we're constantly in competition, or anything else – I promise I will always come back to you. I'm not going to leave you like your dad and Jeremy did. I will always be here for you. I promise you that, Beca. Besides, how are we going to have those aca-children if I'm gone?" he said, then realized with a triumphant smile, "Hey, I _can _work that in here!"

Beca laughed, that was her weirdo, always trying to keep her calm through serious conversations with little jokes. All jokes aside, at that moment, Beca knew he was telling the truth. There was vulnerability and determination in his eyes and in his voice. Beca only ever saw vulnerability in Jesse when he was around her. He never shows it otherwise. Maybe it's because she can hurt him just as much as he can hurt her or maybe it's because he's afraid that one day she'll walk away, she doesn't know. All she knows is that she's never felt so safe and so sure ever before.

"Thank you, Jesse," she leaned towards him for a gentle kiss. As she pulled away, the words came out of her mouth just above a whisper before she could stop them, "I love you."

Jesse's eyes flew towards hers. He didn't know whether she had said it intentionally or if she even realized she said it. But when he looked at her all he saw was the determination he held in his eyes not a minute ago as well as the passion, adoration, and yes, there it was, love. He's pretty sure his mouth will be sore later from smiling so wide. "I love you, too."

He's also pretty sure he's never seen Beca's eyes shine so brightly.

**A/N: Love it? Hate it? I don't really know how I feel about it. This was a really difficult one for me to get out, to be honest. I tried to project some of my feelings through Beca, but also cater to her personality. I also felt like there wasn't enough Beca/Jesse in this chapter, so thought the flashback would be cute. Anyway, hopefully this turned out ok. **

**Please let me know what you think in a review? :) Have a great week everyone!**


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